I looked in the mirror and was taken aback—shocked—at the beautiful woman looking back at me. I have had moments where these insecurities resurface.Then my spirit-self spoke to my physical-self, and she said something like this: “Kami, I am more you than you are you. Keep me beautiful and that beauty will radiate outward, and we will stand together perfected before Father.” I felt so blessed that in a moment of emotional vulnerability, a moment that could have demolished my self-esteem, or any woman’s, for that matter, the Lord saw fit, in His kindness, to teach me something about me. I have found that more often than not, sadly, the attitude among LDS men is somewhat of a trophy wife/girlfriend mentality.What if his wife gets cancer and has to shave her blonde hair off? What if she is involved in a fire or has a child with disabilities?Would he love that child less because he or she isn’t up to par?With some goading from a friend — who somehow convinced me that the stigma against online dating was no more — I joined Ok Cupid and started scanning the thousands of matches that popped up on my screen.Apparently, I wasn’t alone in my Valentine’s Day depression-induced hunt for Prince Charming.I know many really smart people, including my son, who don’t have high degrees, and many people with a Ph.
So stop looking for super hot chemistry and butterflies when you first meet. Ignore those men, and seek out the guys who want a relationship with someone they can relate to. Truly.◊♦◊Guys, if you’re comparing all the women you date to your ex, or you’re still blaming her for your problems, please get therapy and work this stuff out.Experts say online dating sites see a huge traffic increase between Christmas and Valentine’s Day.With the number of visitors these sites get each month, that increase is pretty significant: Some current estimates report between 10.5 and 23.8 million unique visitors per month for two major dating sites.But he said “almost.” Maybe I had some work to do in a couple areas. I was expecting maybe odd quirks, personality differences–I have a lot of unusual quirks. “You didn’t fit five things on my list: Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, gorgeous, and thin.” He emphasized the last two. The conversation ended with him saying that he just didn’t think things were going to work, and he just “needed to marry a thin girl because his mom and sisters are thin and that’s just what he’s used to.” I sat on my bed utterly dumbfounded. I had always considered myself more or less good looking but I sat there doubting myself. I will Always have the potential to be saved, and I will Always have the guarantee of a glorious Resurrection. It’s fair to assume that a certain body type carries with it a certain lifestyle.How could so many remarkable qualities be overshadowed by something so temporal? Was this something that others had thought, but just weren’t tactless enough to actually admit? What if I had missed out on marriage simply because I wasn’t thin enough? I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed, feeling large, unattractive, and otherwise undesirable. And while I have dated many different “types” of men, I usually go for men who are taller and bigger than me, because I love to feel petite. Maybe it’s about them knowing the woman is going to be around for a long time because she takes care of herself.