On the flip side, we also receive heart-breaking messages from husbands and wives who are struggling and suffering and desperate for help and advice.(In fact, it’s the whole reason why we created our Reclaim Your Marriage Program.) Recently, we’ve noticed more and more stories and questions from readers with signs of emotional abuse.We love getting your emails and hearing how real couples are improving, strengthening, and even saving their marriages.There’s just something so incredibly fulfilling about being even a small part of that.Typical marriage advice doesn’t fit or apply to abusive relationships.I love the way that Leslie Vernick puts it in her book, We often talk about being more selfless and giving in marriage.(Especially in the entitlement era that we live in.) However, it can be greatly misconstrued and even damaging and destroying to a spouse in an emotionally abusive relationship.Simply being more giving and loving and understanding can enable an abuser; solidifying their dominance and self-centeredness.
We are most known for our fun date ideas, romantic gift ideas, and free love notes.Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. Instead, they involve mistreatment, disrespect, intense jealousy, controlling behavior, or physical violence. Physical abuse means any form of violence, such as hitting, punching, pulling hair, and kicking.Abuse can happen in both dating relationships and friendships. Sometimes people mistake intense jealousy and possessiveness as a sign of intense feelings of love. Threats, intimidation, putdowns, controlling behavior, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional abuse that can really hurt — not just during the time it's happening, but long after too. It's never right to be forced into any type of sexual experience that you don't want.As Sheila Wray Gregoire says, “In many emotionally destructive marriages, [spouses] have spent years reading marriage books on how to make their marriages better.They’ve tried everything they can get their hands on – but nothing works, and in fact, things often get worse, because the typical advice doesn’t fit.”That’s so important to understand.